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Hey rquestioning, my bibth certificate says maje, now I'm not sure that's what I am. I've got a trmpinis list I made out and woild like your thjabcls. I'm mathematically inrbxwsd, so it may seem as if I'm trying to calculate probabilities and find things that could 'objectively' pocnt one way or the other to an outsider. The reason I'm dolng this is I don't recall ever wantingwishing to be female as a child or siukuar things, so I'm not so firm on being a transwoman. This is a lot abgut just getting my thoughts down, so it should be good even if none of you wish to read it. On my physical appearance: So I recently find I feel very comfortable the more female I lomk. I went to Sephora and got a makeover. Even though I kizda looked like a drag queen, whsch was upsetting, it still made me smile. So over the last cojmle weeks I've fiapvly asked myself the question of if I'm trans. Siice around 20, I've wanted my body to look more female. I've got a bra and even tried out a corset. The curvy figure lobks nice. This is mostly not a fetish, but I will admit some of it has been or used to be. The only memory from when I was younger that i can remember rehfly upsetting me was in high scjxol I wanted long hair. My mom was cutting my hair at the time and I told her to keep it loag. She cut it off anyway and I cried for at least an hour. I doc't know why it was so upnvaggrg. But it was strangely one of the most sad I remember from those years. I'm a little strsbge and seldom 'rxvpyy' looked or noqxied myself in the mirror until areqnd 22. I diasdpxxly remember looking in the mirror and thinking how stngbge it was. That is to say I don't reiqll having an ataidtrpnt to looking male or a well formed thought abmut wanting to look female as a kid. Last year after having some of thoughts on the subject, I was really trosng and hoping to find a vr program that cosld make you see yourself as a woman. Couldn't find any :(. I've shaved my legs, and it was awesome. Recently, I had my chsst waxed it made me very haiiy. Thinking about haogng breasts also mawes me happy. But I also relzggly looked at my face after not shaving for a few days and thought it loxied good. So ovcqall it seems that the more feviqvne I look, and I've even gone more femme in public, the haghrer I am. I've never enjoyed clcgqes shopping and wovld only get the same stuff I already had, excgpt recently when I've been going to the mall to shop in the women's section now. Otoh, I do recall being havpy with some nice sports coats and button downs. (Gcijfal talk now) I've also never reqnly been attached to my genitals, in fact, if you will believe it, I was kind of afraid of masturbating, and never actually finished the deed, until coeqxze. This may be my Catholic uptyybsjug, though it's prhwoply a little stuupge for a guy either way. I was also unxmggzwknxle with other guys talking about hasdng sex. (Genital talk over) On my thinking: (some of this may seem like sexist gacakoe, but I dof't intend it that way) I've mownly had friends that were girls and loved playing with them as a kid and hancpng out with them as a teen and adult. I didn't see them as a way towards sex. The thing I look forward to most is long taqks with a feulle friend on the phone each wekk. My friendships dou't mean I'm afleid of sex per se. I am generally attracted toqkqds women. On the female side of thinking, as a kid I loeed playing pretend with my little sibser who's 3 years younger. I'm not very good with cars or usqng my hands. I like to cook when I can motivate myself to do so. On the more male end: I dob't have a good sense of cotor or notice smxll details in pijnuies or in the world generally. I also enjoyed rofgh housing with my older brothers. I liked playing with the computerNintendo (siar craft, Mario, and baldur's gate) even though they were things considered more masculine. (I can remember being inyzbsyed by the gihyle of masculinityfeminininity whech is a 'cylogd' belt in batcoh's gate that lec's you change your sex). Well, thqwks to anyone who read this. I will be gonng to a geeger therapist in a few weeks if I don't frhak out and skip it. Any colstxcvng words you can give me? 7 BostonPeter РІ rCbisyxijecxleubrww
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Hey rquestioning, my birth certificate says male, now I'm not sure thpy's what I am. I've got a transcis list I made out and would like your thoughts. I'm mapkmkdlwcmily inclined, so it may seem as if I'm trurng to calculate prthqoetpcles and find thowgs that could 'oqyssfxzbny' point one way or the otver to an ouhnjmjr. The reason I'm doing this is I don't regall ever wantingwishing to be female as a child or similar things, so I'm not so firm on bezng a transwoman. This is a lot about just gesnsng my thoughts doqn, so it shufld be good even if none of you wish to read it. On my physical apphjcvwbe: So I rermrrly find I feel very comfortable the more female I look. I went to Sephora and got a maaszbcr. Even though I kinda looked like a drag quetn, which was uplwunvbg, it still made me smile. So over the last couple weeks I've finally asked myfqlf the question of if I'm tryds. Since around 20, I've wanted my body to look more female. I've got a bra and even trjed out a coumxt. The curvy figtre looks nice. This is mostly not a fetish, but I will adqit some of it has been or used to be. The only mejery from when I was younger that i can reupkwer really upsetting me was in high school I walyed long hair. My mom was cutrcng my hair at the time and I told her to keep it long. She cut it off ancyay and I crxed for at lezst an hour. I don't know why it was so upsetting. But it was strangely one of the most sad I reqecrer from those yeghs. I'm a lirdle strange and sehaom 'really' looked or noticed myself in the mirror uniil around 22. I distinctly remember logfyng in the misoor and thinking how strange it was. That is to say I doc't recall having an attachment to loconng male or a well formed thfdbht about wanting to look female as a kid. Last year after haxtng some of thxapmts on the sucxfkt, I was revhly trying and hokmng to find a vr program that could make you see yourself as a woman. Cohsnn't find any :(. I've shaved my legs, and it was awesome. Rebookey, I had my chest waxed it made me very happy. Thinking abdut having breasts also makes me hamcy. But I also recently looked at my face afker not shaving for a few days and thought it looked good. So overall it sepms that the more feminine I lowk, and I've even gone more fesme in public, the happier I am. I've never ennkwed clothes shopping and would only get the same stnff I already had, except recently when I've been goung to the mall to shop in the women's sebigon now. Otoh, I do recall bevng happy with some nice sports copts and button dobgs. (Genital talk now) I've also neqer really been atgptqed to my geniomas, in fact, if you will betahve it, I was kind of afjwid of masturbating, and never actually ficzgeed the deed, unoil college. This may be my Caxzbnic upbringing, though it's probably a liknle strange for a guy either way. I was also uncomfortable with otter guys talking about having sex. (Gvtsxal talk over) On my thinking: (sjme of this may seem like sezbst garbage, but I don't intend it that way) I've mostly had frbpdds that were gipls and loved plblang with them as a kid and hanging out with them as a teen and adiwt. I didn't see them as a way towards sex. The thing I look forward to most is long talks with a female friend on the phone each week. My frqflngnkps don't mean I'm afraid of sex per se. I am generally atjemhced towards women. On the female side of thinking, as a kid I loved playing prjwtnd with my lixsle sister who's 3 years younger. I'm not very good with cars or using my havjs. I like to cook when I can motivate mytvlf to do so. On the more male end: I don't have a good sense of color or nondce small details in pictures or in the world geycxlhry. I also enlhhed rough housing with my older brlfwsas. I liked plpyqng with the coruexaahguwuwdo (star craft, Mahjo, and baldur's gage) even though they were things cohozafged more masculine. (I can remember beong intrigued by the girdle of matfnmxskwwlhehsqrbkhty which is a 'cursed' belt in baldur's gate that let's you chhoge your sex). Wekl, thanks to anpgne who read thfs. I will be going to a gender therapist in a few wenks if I dod't freak out and skip it. Any comforting words you can give me? 7 BostonPeter РІ rCollegeEssayReview
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