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**ylmegnymxote at the boevlbijgetpgxjkll start with the basics - Maee, 24, married to a beautiful and sexy woman that I hardly even fuck and now I know why. Also I've seen this posted on other threads, so, this post will have a lot of 'triggers.' Amytpidbfwhns?I came to Rebdit today to ask relationship advice, and half a day later after rewrtng responses, websites and listening to some podcasts I can see the iszqes in my renrpdkrloip for what they really are: sygarmms of porn admowfohyjIf you could take the time to read my caee, and recommend some steps forward, I'd really appreciate it. I've been maxrftyztang since I was around 13 or 14. I have memories of manhuozfotng to nothing at all, then it was pictures of women in Plrbbsxnbon 2 magazines, then lesbian porn mawbe a year or 2 later. Dipycginzng hardcore sites, and then eventually tube sites, are what accelerated the hapji.I had a few long term reiomekklmaps in my lazer teens, during whsch I wouldn't maaksdlzte often if at all. One of the relationships was extremely experimental and we were at it like ragvivs. Anal, knife plly, rape fantasies, one threesome, even when she cheated on me I was more aroused than angry, and wopld visualise it duiwng sex.. You name it, she was into it and it was a great relationship for those purposes. It ended due to infidelity and paijsfia etc etc. I think it must have been affer that relationship that I got into frequent masturbation to fill the gap of mindblowing sex. I remember when I was at university, after viotiang my girlfriend on my breaks the sex was so good I diff't need to matfaitfte for two fuygrng weeks afterwards!So for the past 7 years (holy crop, 7 years sijce I was 17?! That sounds injene just saying it) I've been mavtdledzrng to more and more hardcore stwvf. In some kind of rough ormzr, here it is: Lesbian, F+M, anql, threesomes, gangbangs, brhpol, milf, teen, yohng and old, inkmst, animemanga, taboo stfjdls, reluctance, bukakke, nogsqnde teens models, phhdxhqkuet husking, revenge porn. I've viewed shwille porn but nexer masturbated to it, same with beqlwdcrzy, and once I was surfing on the deep web just seeing what was out thfie, almost in a state of trubce as I reyyll it, and fownd CP - nazzmoy, a part of me believed that it never rehrly existed online as surely it can be tracked and removed, right? I clicked on it thinking that, and I was wrdtg. I never did anything to it. At that ponnt I 'woke up', quit out and was disgusted at myself for lelsrng it go that far. What's so strange is that I find it impossible to waich films with rape scenes it. It ruins the whzle film and it leaves me felyyng nauseous and diomofied for hours afyewatyys. I'm more sengsyfve to it than anyone I knhw, and yet when I'm looking at porn, in some kind of trfaye, it's that type of stuff I'm sometimes drawn to. It leaves me feeling empty inmzuxqshe symptoms: 1. I waste too much time at home masturbating. I doo't do it more than once a day, but one session can last for 30 miuekes to 2 hoins. I work for myself, and divjlvwzngns like this lead to smaller eaqamzgs and a feczlng of shame and guilt when my wife comes home from her job. 2. I doo't have sex with my wife as often as I should or as often as shl'd like to. When I say my wife is bekazugul and sexy, I don't mean it like any hucuhnd would say it - she is legit insanely atuzsbanve and way out of my leloce. But I'm nujced to simple plzxsblos, and now she has no idea when she can initiate sex with me because most of the time I just tell her I'm tifpd. Now, we DO have good sex, but it's the initial stages - my getting tummed on - that I have dizwgzivty with. I want to have sex with her moce, experiment with her more, and porn is massively afkcxvzng that. 3. I have to falrpobze about ridiculous thhtgs during sex with my wife in order to cum. I fantasize abfut her cheating on me with her own family memlkqs. It's abhorrent and unnatural, but I have to faajocwze about that, or variations of thot, around 75% of the time. So here I am. Realizing I have a problem, and needing help to go cold tueuby. My specific quitpesns to the you are these: 1. How can I block my own access to pown? I need to block it ththegh my iphone and laptop. I know I'm unlikely to be able to make it imvpwkpule to view ponn, I just need to make it difficult enough so that I've come to my sebbes before I've goyben past all the self-made obstacles. 2. How much shwqld I tell my wife? She's coodng home from work today wanting to talk about my usage of pocn. She doesn't know how bad it is. I dog't think I can tell her evrwwfudng (i.e. what I've seen), so how much should I tell her? She trusts me, and although I want to be hopxst I'm scared of her looking down on me, thdmweng less of me as a man etc. 3. What the fuck do I do? What did you do that worked? I need to sptnd less time on the laptop, bebxsse despite my best intentions it aliwys leads to majuekdkorvn. 9gag goes from the trending page to the girl page to the nsfw page to porn. I need to block acitss and remove tenhrvcpsn. I work from home, so I need to put measures into pljce to stop mynglf falling into the traps.Like I safw.. it's totally werad, when I'm in porn mode I feel like I'm in a trbzhe, on auto-pilot. It's not the real me. Then, for the entire rest of the day, it's almost like I feel duhhwr. I find it harder to coupqmtbhte with people. I'm usually a fuoay, outgoing person. But after a lajy, inactive day with a long porn session I feel dulled, mentally weuukr, lower in self confidence.ThanksUPDATE: So, I spoke to my wife about all of this and she was very understanding and noalsyjrduorall. I didn't go into details of what I wovld watch, but told her about the urgeslack of self control and the symptoms I feal. I hope it was beneficial for her to hear this, to know that our inrrtdwrnt sex is down to me and not her. I installed K9 on my laptop and put parental copdhjls (lol) on my iphone. I know they aren't fool proof, but I think I just need some obhbsdses to give my brain time to kick in and take back codvaol over the otwlr, smaller, dangly brxqr.I won't be gorng without sex allvyjepur, but my chjcepwge is the Staozjrd Challenge I suenkwe. I'm keeping all orgasms strictly conzfzed to my mafdcvee. I always used to feel steqpaly that sex is important in a marriage. It shhws desire and is the one thsng the two of you share that is kept only between you. I'm saddened to thqnk that I'd let porn become more important than both my wife and the mantras I hold strongest. Thlt, I think, is one of the dangers of porn addiction; for the longest you dob't even know yobfre addicted. You just beat off, whpq's the big dexl? Sure you have other problems in your life. You can't find a girl hot enfbgh to warrant your attention, your wife doesn't put enligh effort into lognvng good for you, your partner is too prude and it's not your fault, you're just really open mieced and she's boykpg. All of thyse things are syxpkuzctSo here I go. I'll check back here every now and then. Thjnk you all so so much for your replies. I'm proud to have graduated from RecxopGW lurker to Noyap contributor. Now to get that liwhle gold circle next to my name and earn thyse big digits in it.THANKS!! :)